Katamari Doomsday
by Greenfrie
Summary: What secrets lurk inside the mystery that is the King of the Cosmos?


**Katamari Doomsday**

**Part of the "Greenfrie 666 Spectacular!"**

_Remember "Katamari Victims Support Group"? Well, this may seem kind of similar at first, but BELIEVE ME, it diverges. Dramatically. Check my profile for other 666 fics._

The flamboyantly dressed King of the Cosmos chuckled as he relaxed on his sofa. He chuckled as he looked at the date on the calendar: 6/6/06.

As he giggled, the green, humanoid son of his rolled a globe the size of the moon towards the throne. The King briefly glanced away, merely saying, "Too small; stardust."

"What?" an offended Prince objected. "Too small? I rolled up the entire population of the _planet_, here! And making stardust will--"

"—Kill them?" The King smiled fiendishly. "We know."

"…Why do you want to kill everyone?" the nephew confronted him, aware of his plan, but not the rationale.

"We were once a boxer, you know, but we lost to a rabbit, the monsterous creatures they are. Terrible animals, really. We found out that humans feed rabbits. They support the enemy. So 'I' went to the Devil, and 'I' became 'We'."

He ripped off his colorful eyesore of a hat to reveal horns as his skin grew blood red. His antenna morphed into a pitch fork, which he savagely ripped off his skull and held in his right fist.

"Is it Our horns that frighten you, or Our pitch fork? Or Our devilish beard…?"

As the King/Devil hybrid stroked his chin and pondered, the Prince ducked behind the gigantic ball. It had grown obvious that his father was almost omnipotent. It would take a huge Katamari to take him down and end all the chaos.

"So We will separate the ecosystem onto the worlds I had you create. The rabbits, and all other organisms, will perish once isolated. Or when We want to make pretty stardust. We like that a lot."

As his father rambled on and on, the Prince kicked the sphere at him. But the King's demonic powers let him detect it and swing his pitch fork out in time. The fork was stuck inside the mass of entangled people, causing infinite amounts of pain.

"What a pathetic Katamari. You're letting down the fans of Katamari Damacy, Prince. We'll lose fans because of your laziness."

"We'll lose fans if you kill them all, too!"

"…Kill…" the King said to himself, as he does to many random words screamed at him.

The Prince had taken advantage of his father's poor attention span and ran into the blank Katamari storage closet. He grabbed one the size of a planet and rolled it out of the King's palace.

As soon as the door burst into bits of wood, he had drifted into the abyss of space. Truly a beautiful site, but he had no time to admire it. Everything had blurred together for him under the extreme stress, and all he could do was run towards the colorful blurs that looked like planets. But eventually, planet-like blur by planet-like blur, space grew nearly pitch black, except for one massive light source.

_The sun! _His Katamari had grown to the point where he could consume what was once the largest object in the observable Katamari Damacy universe! Surely this spelled the end for the evil King.

The fear of failure had been relieved, and he could wipe the sweat off his forehead and relax for a second or two. From the shadows, he saw the King/Devil/Blatantly gay man emerge, glaring into the depths of the small creature's soul. With all his might, the Prince pushed the ball that was once the universe over his father, who cried out in agony as his entire body was scorched under the flames of the sun.

The Prince would have collapsed if the lack of gravity wasn't suspending him in the air. He'd killed his own father, which he'd dreamed of doing since a child. But he'd killed everyone in the universe along with him. He had triggered the Big Crunch, morphing every single molecule in the world except for him into one solid mass.

The Prince gazed sorrowfully as he saw the last remnants of the CowBear planet dissolve with a sad moo and growl into the dying embers of the sun. He couldn't see a thing, knowing that everything had been gone. No Big Bang to follow, making everything alright in the end. But at least the main source of evil in the world had perished with it. Maybe the souls of all who had died could rest peacefully without a Hell to ruin the afterlife. And that was all the Prince could ask for. Well, and he never wanted to hear, ever again…

"That Katamari was so mediocre!"


End file.
